


Pretend He Has Boobs

by mixiz877



Series: Insights [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:32:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixiz877/pseuds/mixiz877
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>POV from Charlie, S7E20 The Girl With The Dungeons And Dragons Tattoo</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretend He Has Boobs

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own, I just borrow.

CHARLIE POV

As I'm riding up to the 11th floor in the elevator my nervousness spikes - again. What am I thinking? Those two ghostbuster wannabes must be crazy. Ah, Charlie, there are people thinking the same about you, haha. At least they're cute to look at - for guys. Okay, Charlie, focus.

The elevator stops and I get off. The moment I turn the corner, I see a problem. Code red, Dean. I have to abort mission. I flatten myself behind a wall the second I see the security guard. My heart is pumping in my chest. What am I thinking? I take a deep breath and close my eyes briefly. Contact alpha control.

"Hey, there's a big-ass guard up here, blocking the door. What do I do?" I'm sure Dean picks up on my panicky desperation.

"Just wait him out," his voice vibrates in my ear. Good thinking, big boy. I slowly edge myself to the glass door and peek through it. The security guard sits down and starts reading a magazine. Great. So much for waiting him out. Plan B, anyone?

"He's not going anywhere."

"Okay, uh, you work there every day. Do you know the guy?" I can virtually hear the gears in Dean's brain whirl and spin. Do I know the guy? Not like there's only ten people working here, ghost boy.

"I guess. I mean, I've seen him. I've never talked to him." Why would I?

"Okay, when you've seen him, does he look at you, or does he just kind of slide his eyes by?"

Seriously? I don't know. I don't care. Okay, think. I know I'm running out of time. The wheels in my head are spinning faster, matching the speed of my heartbeat.

"Um... eye contact? I don't know. He always kind of smiles a bit. I don't really..." Ah, crap. This is bad.

"Good," Dean sounds pleased. "What you're gonna do is you're gonna walk right up to him, and you're gonna flirt your way past."

I almost choke on my own spit. What did he say? Argh, Dean, if I were into guys I'd have hit on you so fast your head'd still be spinning.

"I can't. He's not my type." Please, get it. Don't make me spell it out.

"You're gonna have to play through that." I sigh. He is oblivious. Probably thinks every chick is into guys because he happens to possess a nice booty. And Sam, too. I roll my eyes. Calm down, Charlie. He's just a guy. He doesn't get it. Then again, he should. Whatever. Briefing.

"As in he's not a girl."

Silence. For a moment at least. Speechless much, ghost boy?

"Oh, oh." Ah, he gets the picture. Atta boy. "Pretend he has boobs."

Ugh. Really?

"Worse," I choke out.

"Well, I don't know," Dean presses on. I know, no time. Dang it. "Um... Do you have any tattoos? Give him a little sneak peek there. All tattoos are sexy."

He must be kidding. Out of the frying pan... you get the picture.

"Mine is Princess Leia in a slave bikini straddling a 20-sided die." I can feel him stare. I bet most girls would love to see him speechless, but we're sort of in a predicament here. Tick tock. "I was drunk. It was Comic-Con." Come on, Dean, get it. Move on. I need a plan. Pronto.

"We've all been there. Okay, I'm gonna walk you through this." Gee, thanks, ghost wizard. I take a deep breath and walk into the room with the security guard.

"Start with a smile." A smile. Okay, I can do that. I square my shoulders and paste on a large smile. Even a toddler would see it's fakeness and know I'm up to no good.

"Relax, Charlie. You just got home, and Scarlett Johansson's waiting for you."

Oh, now you're talking, Dean. I let the image materialize in front of my eyes and relax. It's showtime, baby. As I'm getting closer, the guard gets up, looking at me.

"Can I help you, miss?"

Deep breath. You can do it.

"Hey... Bill." Good thing he wears a name tag. I hold up my I.D. card. "Charlie from I.T."

"Oh. Burning the midnight oil, huh?" Oh please... is that what you men say to chat up a girl?

"Just like you – I mean, when you're not at the gym. What, do you work out with all your free time?" I don't wanna know, really. But he takes the bait.

"I try to get to the gym at least three days a week. Just trying to get back to my fighting weight, you know?"

Err, no I don't. Now what? Dean?

"It shows. You look amazing."

"It shows. You look amazing." I keep smiling. Just think Scarlett, Charlie. I can hear Dean talking quietly to Sam. "This never happened. " I grin broadly. Uncomfortable there? Good, then you know how I feel.

"Do you ever do anything else with your free time, like take a girl out for a drink?"

Ah. Figures.

"You do anything else with your free time, like," Is that Sam giggling in the background? Great way to ease my nerves - not. "...take a girl out for a drink?"

"Stop laughing, Sammy." Thank you, Dean. But my brain is on auto pilot... in repeat.

"Stop laughing, Sammy. Um...Y-you don't know that bar – Stop Laughing Sammy?" Oh crap, you're babbling, Charlie. Stop. "That place is bringing sexy back. Which is easy…"

"Stop talking, Charlie!"

"... 'cause they kept the receipt. Stop talking, Charlie. Right. So, um, y-you were saying about going out, drinks?" At last my brain catches on to Dean's order and I start playing with my hair because, honestly, when I'm nervous I either babble or twist my hair. I just hope Bill did not catch onto my charade. Or rather the holes in it.

"Um... Yeah, yeah. That'd be great," Bill says. Phew, must be my lucky day. What are you talking about, Charlie? Lucky? But at least now I'm in the groove.

"Cool. Pencil that in. Hey, can I ask you a favor? The ladies' room downstairs is nasty. Can I use the exec washroom to powder my nose?" Smooth sailing, girl.

"Yeah, yeah. Why not? Um, it's right down the hall. It's the first door on the right," Bill supplies, helpful. I smile and wink at him as I walk past him. Out of his sight I walk past the ladies' room, zoning in on Dick Roman's office.

"I feel dirty." No harm in letting Dean know how hard this was for me

"You and me both, sister." Haha, I can imagine. Alright, down to business.

"The eagle is landing. Going radio-silent."

"Let us know when you're out."

You can bet your sexy ass on that, brother.


End file.
